Calmer of the Storm

I am finding more and more in life, that people look to me for calm. This amazes me sometimes because I am the most spastic - not calm - overly emotional person I know.

I have experienced alot in life. When I start spouting off things like my allergies and medical history, and surgeries-- peoples jaws drop. Things that most people don't see like Typhoid and Tuberculosis. Yeah, it is alot.

So in all this chaos and craziness, why do people see "calm" in me? This baffles me. Whenever I start talking about the calming of the storm and finding the calm in my life I remember one of my favorite songs that often is on repeat on my mp3/blackberry is "Calmer of the Storm" by Downhere.

I find such hope and faith in the scripture where Jesus calms the storms. I realize in my life that I have joys and pains and that is a constant fluctuation and circle. I firmly believe too that God will never give me more than I can handle. Knowing that has gotten me some interesting sticky spots of life- through some dark cloudy storms.

But how can people look at me to calm their storms? I am just me. I don't have or want the answers. I enjoy the chaos that my life can be. I love the constant move from thing to thing.

So back to this song, hard to believe I can be side tracked in a blog. The first verse -- "When everything is wrong - the day has passed and nothing's done and the whole world seems against me. When I'm rolling in my bed there's a storm in my head. I'm afraid of sinking in despair." Wow, I have been there so many times. When I come to those moments of wanting to cry out for God... I want to know that God is right there and I do.

Then the chorus "Teach me Lord to have faith in what you're bringing me will change my life and bring you glory. There on the storm I am learning to let go of the will that I so long to control. There may I be in your arms eternally. I thank you Lord - You are the calmer of the storm."

When I was little and really sick - one of the times I was in Dallas Children's Hospital - my mother talks about sitting in the lobby and crying out to God and begging God to make me better. She said, I know you are trying to teach me something God and I am not getting it. I look at that point in my life and places that have happened since then and I can see God as the calmer of the storm, not me.

"And oh when a torment blows, in the middle of the sea. May I never trust in me, never trust in me causte there in Your Arms I find no tragedy." -- Calmer of the Storm - Downhere.