My Body is a Temple -- so I need to take care of it

In the summer of 1994, I developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in my left hand. At that point the options were surgery and being without your hand for 6 weeks, cortisone shots (I hate shots) or wear braces and endure the pain. I had other things going on at the time -- college, work, violin playing, papers on computer -- so I endured the pain and wear braces.

15 years of avoiding another orthopedic surgeon visit. I don't like doctors. I don't like admitting I am in pain either. When I have to wear my braces in public, I am embarrassed. I know that sounds silly but my ego immediately flashes to "Mariesa, you are weak." I just don't like to show myself as vulnerable. I have said this before.

I have to buy a new brace every year and it has really gone ok. Then I had to go and get older. Getting old sucks (yes I know I am just a baby -- but people I am still getting older).

Last spring I started to develop tendonitis in my right elbow. Yeah tennis elbow from playing the violin. I bought a brace and figured I could just endure the pain like I have for all these years with my carpal tunnel. Well, it is not going away.

The tendonitis hurts so bad that when I talk on the phone too long, my elbow actually locks. This sucks. My nuissance is now becoming a hindrance to my life. I am finding that playing the violin hurts ALOT. That sucks. Knitting is even beginning to hurt my carpal tunnel.

Now, before you think that this is Mariesa's Pity Party blog.... no. That could not be farther from the truth. I have been working on my prayer life, my spirituality for awhile now. (pretty obvious for anyone following my blog). 1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20, which is shown as the reason people shouldn't get tattoos and people should not deface their bodies. It is so much more than that. I have denied my body from being a temple by not keeping my hands and now my elbow healthy. I have pretty much abused my body by not taking care of the carpal tunnel for so long and now for letting the tendonitis go on.

So, I sucked it up and called an Orthopedic Surgeon this morning. Surgery is the last thing from my mind but I want this to get taken care of. I want this poor tendon to heal so that I can bend and straighten my arm like normal people. I really don't know what it will feel like to knit while feeling all of my fingers and having no numbness. I hate doctors. I hate having to go to doctors. BUT, my body is a temple and I really need to take better care of it.