"Give me words to speak. Don't let my spirit sleep. Because I can't think of anything worth saying, but I know that I owe YOU my life. Give me words to speak. Don't let my spirit sleep." (Aaron Shust - Give me words to speak).
There are times in my life that I don't understand alot. Experiences in my life that I don't understand how God is trying to teach me something or show me a new way of thinking. These are the times when I discover those closer to me... I discover an inner strength and sense of compassion and understanding that I just can't understand.
It has been an interesting month. I can probably say one of the most profoundly changing months of my life. Often when we get stuck in a rut, when we think that we have it THE WORST, this is when, I usually find God.
My prayer life in the last month has been AWESOME. I am a big mess sometimes with prayer. I put it off. I procrastinate about spending time with God. Usually when I realize this, I realize I need God most of all. Often times we bottle up everything. We don't want anyone to see our pain because no one can understand or identify with it. That is when I turn it over to God. Spending either the first moments of the day or the last moments of the day in silent meditation... fully listening to God and looking for God's guidance. I am finding if I skip it, I miss it now. That is awesome.
God has been sending alot of hurting people my way. People who see me as their calm. People who see a strength in me that I barely see in myself. That still confuses me but I am starting to talk to God about that confusion. Often when people want me to take control of the situation, it is because they can't see where the control lies. If I can provide comfort, solace, compassion, it is not me. It is God.
A friend sent me something this morning, probably when I needed comfort and support the most. What he sent me was "Symptoms of Inner Peace." Upon looking it up, it is written by Saskia Davis. It is so so powerful and even when I was totally crying out to God trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with everything that was being thrown at me, I think I began to look at my inner peace.
Here it is reprinted but it can be found at www.symptomsofinnerpeace.net
SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE
by Saskia Davis
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears
based on past experiences
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in judging self
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
A loss of interest in conflict
A loss of ability to worry
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Contented feelings of connectedness with others & nature
Frequent attacks of smiling
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
An increased susceptibility to love extended by others and the uncontrollable urge to extend it
May each of the people in my life find the peace and solace in God. Conversations with God are a 2 sided thing. I did not understand for the longest time. Listening to God and understanding God's guidance is a beautiful thing. Seeing God's Will in your life is OVERWHELMING and mind blowing. May I always find solace in God.
Peace, love and underpants :)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
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