Reflections of an old sage -- well not really old

Coming in December will be my 10th anniversary of being in ministry. WOW, that is a long time. I remember starting out and going to youth ministry conferences hearing about those who had been in ministry over 5 years and wondering if that would ever be me.

So, wise words. Communication. Communication. Communication. Did I mention communication? There are times in my ministry when things are thrown at me and the emotional little girl in me wants to run and cower in the bathroom and cry like a baby. Yeah, NOT what needs to happen. There are times that things are thrown at you or miscommunicated to you that you want to be the mean alley cat and bare your claws and come out fighting. Again, probably not what needs to happen. There are probably alot of other reactions too, but these are two that I have entertained in the past. Yeah, not very effective.

Teach me, Lord to have faith
In what you're bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory (Calmer of the Storm by Downhere).

Last night was one of those times when I wasn't prepared. I had no idea that something was going to be presented. So, I immediately wanted to be the little girl and run and cry. (Really the situation was not all that big of a deal, I just wasn't ready for it). I wanted to jump across the table and start clawing eyes out. (yeah, probably not a good idea). But then it hit me -- you know Mariesa, you can handle this. Take a deep breath and get it together and present what needs to be presented. And I did. I wasn't prepared for it. I didn't know if I was making ANY sense at all, but I just did the most appropriate thing. I acted with grace. Yeah, I was frustrated but I knew that I had made some miscommunications that needed to be cleared up and I knew that I needed to clear things up.

In life, we don't like things thrown at us in anyway. We don't want to be unprepared. When that happens, I really just need to stop... get my head around what the issue is and solve it.

So, I am a life-r in youth ministry. I wouldn't change my vocation in ministry for the world. I love that I am challenged and satisfied in ways I could have never imagined. That little girl in me sometimes still wants to cower and cry, that cat wants to bare claws and come out swinging. But mostly I know that by the Grace of God, I will never be given more than I can handle. I know that what I am given I can learn and grow from and I can continue following this totally awesome path that God has me on.

It's all a growing experience. It's all about growing closer to God and closer to those around me. It's really all about the peace and love that I am called to share with others.

AMEN