Finding God - the God things, moments of our lives.

I have noticed recently that I talk alot about the "it's a God thing" moments. I have some crazy awesome experiences of my life that I often have the opportunities to share with others. I think this opens my soul up, allows others to see the real me beyond all the chaos that might be on the outside.

So, these God things -- For these are moments when I realize that for whatever reason God is kicking me in the butt and saying, "Wake up! I am here." God is always with us and always walks right next to us and in our joys and our sorrows, but why don't we always see it?

My first memory of a God thing was probably about 5th grade. A friend and I wanted to go to camp. Camping Ministry has such an influence on people and it truly changed me. I think that was probably the first time I probably realized that God was not just around on Sunday mornings, but God was in SO many people and places.

Another moving "God thing" moment for me was when I realized that God was moving in my life. God was an active part of everything I did, the decisions, the places, God was inside me and moving me toward passionate places. This was another camp experience. It was during a devotion as a Counselor in Training. We were talking about the moment that I was actually having. I was asked, "When did you first see God active in your life?" At that moment for whatever reason, I looked up into the sky prayerfully trying to figure out what I was going to say that was not going to sound dumb or silly ... but really mean something. I saw the big dipper. This peaceful embrace came across me at that very moment and I realized that sitting their amongst those people was an awakening in me. I was at peace with that.

Alot of my "God thing" moments, tho, are not so shiny and happy. Many times I realize that at my deepest darkest places, God lifts me to a mountain top. Most know that I had a bad experience early in youth ministry. Experiences and frustrations that were ugly, ugly things. If I can say at any moment in my life that I was in "despair," that was the moment. I prayed that God would give me the answers I was looking for, eventhough I had NO idea what they were. I knew God's Will would be done but it was not happening fast enough for me.

I had to let go. I had to release the hate, the angers, the frustrations that were weighing so heavy of my heart and give them to God. The day before Cade was born, I got my answer. Pastor Ralph emailed me and asked when Cade was going to be born. He said he was praying for me and that the position I am in now opened up and was available for me to apply.

I have so many "God thing" moments. So many times, I have felt like God was always there but God is ALWAYS there. God is here now even in the writing of this blog. God is a part of me working through me and revealing himself to me in so many ways. Why then are there sometimes I take that for granted. There are moments in my life, I have to look for God. I get buried in the craziness of life and don't even think about God. But even in those times, God in his infinite, unconditional love is loving me. Even the messed up crazy sides of Mariesa - God is there.

One more little God thing story. There were many times in my first church, that I had to look for God. Situations, understandings just the daily grind. Sitting in my office one day, I noticed that there was a dove walking along my window ledge. I had my windows opened (frosted glass) and every now and then, the dove would almost look in on me. I found this odd. I thought it strange that this dove almost wanted in to my office. Then I realized that I needed that peace - I needed that embrace that God gives us so many times that we don't always accept. At that moment, I felt God wrapping his arms around me and I cried. I still don't know why and that isn't important. Ever since that moment, when I feel that I need to cry out to God - I am usually visited by a dove. Beautiful and awesome...