Yes I know, 2 blogs in one day. I am physically tired. Physically spent. But I want to praise God. Not for any great miraculous thing. I want to praise God for the breath that I have the person I am and the wonderful people that are around me.
I am a hopeless over planner. I plan for everything that can go wrong, everything that can go right and everything, anything else that can possibly be planned for. I over stress. I know this. Character flaw. Often, in over planning, I forget to enjoy. I forget to BE. I keep talking about BEing but I don't know that I am yet living it. I schedule EVERYTHING. I plan and plan and plan. I have even made sure to plan for time with God. Who does that? Who plans to spend time with God? Shouldn't you do that anyway? But, yet I plan it. In the process though, I forget to just BE.
I fell into some old habits today. I let things get to me. I did not radiate anything but stress until about 10 am. That is when I realized I needed to stop. I can't control things that go wrong. I can't usually control things that go right. I can however control my reaction. The nervous breakdown is not going to make the bounce house get here any faster. The snappy Mariesa is not going to get people to move their cars or make it a positive experience.
Dear Lord, in my stress and crazy brain, help me to remember to BE... to ENJOY the moment. Help me to not get lost in other people's stresses that I can do NOTHING about. Help me to be the person that I so desire to be. God, I need comfort, I need rest. Help me experience that comfortable peace that I need. Help release the noise of my life and just BE.
AMEN.
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